Mary Sweet

Published by Lucas Dale on

Monday, 17th November

Mum called, asking if I’m coming home for Christmas. She doesn’t know what Dad’s planning. Mustn’t tell! Remember to poke Susan and see if she’s in.

Ashad wants the JS updated by next week. Bastard. Can’t piss him off, though. Tilly is leaving and someone has to take her place. Might be me, if I’m good. Might be David if he keeps sucking Ashad’s cock.

Keep forgetting to buy more cornflower blue.

Thursday, 20th November

David started work on the query page before I’d updated it. Almost punched him. Tilly’s leaving party is next Friday.

Susan suggested getting Mum a new iron for Christmas. I disagree.

On the way home from work I found this weird pocket watch stuck in a drain. It looks old and has no hands. Maybe I can sell it.

Still haven’t got more cornflower blue.

Saturday, 22nd November

Finally bought more cornflower blue! Half-price, too. Bargain. Now I can finally finish the bluebells. Mum’s going to love this print!

I think that old pocket watch is broken. It ticks all wrong and it’s strangely quiet, strangely loud. Kept me up at night.

Sunday, 23rd November

Mum called again. Have to come up with a more convincing lie.

Wednesday, 26th November

David fucked up his merge. Ashad was not pleased. I’m ecstatic!

I discovered a button on that watch that makes it play a song, like a music box. Couldn’t quite figure out where the sound was coming from. The song is pretty, though. Haunting.

I listened to it as I fell asleep.

Friday, 28th November

Lots of free alcohol at Tilly’s party. David got wasted and threw up on Ashad’s shoes. Music was shit, though. Nothing compares to the sound that watch makes. I can’t get it out of my head.

Missed call from Mum.

Monday, 1st December

I can’t believe Tilly’s gone. The office feels so empty without her, and David is a right mess. Can’t even gloat that I got the promotion when it feels so hollow.

Told Mum I’m going to be in Barbados for Christmas. Bit hungover when I said so, but can’t take it back now. The bluebells are nearly finished.

I listen to the watch’s music while I paint. It’s soothing. Everywhere I go I hear it. Tum, tum ta tum. Beautiful

Tuesday, 2nd December

Susan shouted at me on the phone, something about me not listening. Not my fault her voice is ugly.

The sweet song follows me. I think her name is Mary.

Thursday, 4th December

I can’t work. I can’t concentrate, can’t type. The noise is all wrong. I want to bring Mary to the office but I can’t let anyone else hear her. She sings only for me.

My Mary.

Sunday, 7th December

Haven’t slept. Couldn’t bear the silence. Each time Mary sings she sings something new. Something wonderful. Every other sound pales in comparison, so incredibly dull. Out of tune.

The bluebells need more blue.

Friday, 12th December

I can’t listen.

Everything is white and silver, a horrible screeching and shouting and screaming. Mary keeps me sane.

Mary is mine. So sweet. So lovely. She tells me everything will be alright. I will be alright.

Monday, 15th December

Missed calls. Good riddance. Mary is all I need. The universe is in her voice. The stars are in her song. I dare not sing it, or I shall massacre the notes.

I close my eyes, cover my ears. Block out the world. It is an offence.

The world is off-key. Too slow. Too fast.


Mary’s song twists. Something is wrong.

Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine.

Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine.

Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine.

Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine.

Mary mine.

Mine.

Wednesday, 17th December

I can’t hear her.

Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine. Off-key, out of time. Mary sweet, Mary mine.

Wednesday, 24th December

I know what’s wrong.

It’s me. I’m wrong. I’m off-key and out of time. My heart. It beats when it shouldn’t and I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. The blood pulsing through my brain, through my ears, it taunts me. It hates me.

Mary knows.

Mary can fix me. She can give me a new heart.


I will hear her again.


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